so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
