Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
