is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
