my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
