At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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