How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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