Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
do nipples grow back?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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