I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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