Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
