Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
