All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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