Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Text me some of your sweat
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
