your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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