ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
