i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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