Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
