I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
