What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
