She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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