I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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