I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My bed smells like the plague
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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