Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
