Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
