either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
