I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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