All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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