you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
