did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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