fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize