it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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