feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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