woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
