Your tits are I can't wait for
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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