Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
