dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
