Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
