She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
