I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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