Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
