So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
