the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Holy shit dude........stairs
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
