if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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