why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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