Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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