A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
