two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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