you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
