So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
