grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
