I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
