Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
