I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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