I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
