i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
