He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
