is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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