this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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