I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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