Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
