"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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